Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
