Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
