its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
