i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize