His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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