Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
