We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
