Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
