We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
