he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
