either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
