somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize