is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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