Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
