do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What drink are we having for lunch?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
