Pappa wants mamma naked
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
