Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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