What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just want to make out with him forever
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
