we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
