Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
