He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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