She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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