That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
