Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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