"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
