Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
