I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
