ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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