So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
no, he came in my armpit
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
