I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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