Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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