is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Randomize
