Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
