my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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