Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize