tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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