I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
