With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
