I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
