with your own penis?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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