I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
