and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
