i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
