i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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