Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
