So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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