Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
