you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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