I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
