I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
