just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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