I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize