just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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