ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
