I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
