after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
