so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
