For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
