please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
