apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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