...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
