using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
