kristin has been a bad kristin
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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