Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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